Impactful moments – from the Home where victims of domestic violence always have the security of tomorrow.
What more can you want from a relationship than to have peace between you and your partner in order to form a home, a place to call home, a space of safety and development, support and love?
Away from Abuse, Neglect and Helplessness
Eli dreamed more than all of us of this scenario in which he would make a home with childlike laughter and much joy. She dreamed every day of fulfilling this image ever since she was six years old when her parents’ paths parted. Then another story began for her: laden with tears and abuse, neglect and helplessness.
The story begins in the yard of the great-grandmother who remained to take care of the two girls, their father being completely absent. The neighbors noticed her inability to take care of the girls and notifying Child Protection, the little ones were taken to another world, that of a state center. For Eli it was the best time, being supported by educators because of her diligence. She had a mentor who guided her entire life, the Romanian language teacher and educator at the center, who helped her discover her love for knowledge and development.
She spent her holidays with her father, a person she describes as selfish and completely disinterested in her upbringing, receiving only harsh words and beatings from him. The period spent in the home (6-21 years) she remembers with pleasure, but returning home was always traumatic. She remembers an episode in her early years when her father came home from work and found dirty plates in the kitchen, lined up the girls, wiped dirty dishes from their cheeks, and then notched their faces with shards.
On a sentimental level, things were not pleasant either, and periods of professional decline were also present. At 22, she started a marriage relationship with a young man 8 years older than her, considering that she would have someone to share her bitterness with and that his life experience would be a support for her, and after 8 years, the relationship ended because of his possessiveness and jealousy. The next relationship lasted 11 years and resulted in a child. Although the partner did not want the child, for her, the news of pregnancy was the only glimmer of beauty in a sea of disappointment. She assumed everything to be able to become a mother, even with the father’s total lack of involvement and beyond the moments of physical and mental abuse, there was the constant pressure manifested by the partner’s sister, who was always present in the relationship and without whom he did not make the slightest decision.
Eli describes herself as a fighter, invests in people, and loves to help. She listened to a show on TV and understood that what she was experiencing was abuse, decided to leave and ended up at “ADRA House” with her daughter.
Discovering Peace, Safety and Strength at Casa ADRA
During her stay at the home, she discovers peace and safety, as well as the strength to take further steps, she resumes her education, enrolling in high school to complete it as her dream is to attend college, and she gets a job as a cleaner at a well-known retailer. All the while, she is constantly supported by the centre’s specialists, to whom she feels very emotionally attached.
Eli changed her story because she believed she could, worked for fulfillment, and got the helping hand she needed at the right time.
“ADRA House was everything to me. It gave me the start I needed for myself and my little girl. There, I realized what had happened, how to focus on myself and my little girl, and how to manage money. I made beautiful and lasting friendships with the ladies there. I do not have enough words to express my gratitude to the team of professionals at Casa ADRA. Today, I am well thanks to what I learned there: empathy, love for people, and patience beyond any expectations”, says Eli, a person assisted at “Casa ADRA”, a victim of domestic violence.
“I love my profession as a psychologist, and I am happy when I have people like Eli at the center. I don’t know how many of us could go on if, instead of being by your side, your father would only give you 50 lei to leave the house and make ends meet; I don’t know how many of us could keep a job when we would have to live for months under the open sky in a park. Let’s wash our bodies and clothes at the fountain in the park. This woman did this and managed to survive during that period. Slowly, instead of giving in mentally, she struggled to overcome her condition. I am glad that I was able to be his guide for a few months and that my work was very helpful. Eli is a very strong woman with a beautiful dream at 45 of attending college. She is currently enrolled in high school part-time, and in two years, after taking the baccalaureate, she will be admitted to college. He is an example of motivation, will, and perseverance for anyone; he is a man who proves that no matter where you were born, where you grew up, and even if life is not generous, with the right help from specialists, you can overcome your condition and fulfill your dreams”, said Mariana Ros, ADRA Romania Psychologist.
ADRA Romania’s expertise in the field of domestic violence
Since 2009, ADRA Romania has been leading the Center for Emergency Reception of Victims of Domestic Violence – Casa ADRA. In this center, ADRA Romania offers accommodation, individual and family psychological counseling, social counseling, food, and emergency medical assistance to women (along with their children) who have reported domestic violence to the competent bodies.
ADRA Romania is licensed for the social service “Center for Emergency Reception of Victims of Domestic Violence – Casa ADRA”. The decision to grant the operating license was issued by the Ministry of Labor, Family, Social Protection and the Elderly, following the evaluation of the submitted documentation and verification visits. The Center is licensed in accordance with Law nr. 197/2012 on quality assurance in the field of social services, with subsequent amendments.
*pseudonym used for safety reasons
